Standing up for what you believe in

I am on a meeting. One person starts saying negative things about another's private life but they are not here to hear the comment. But I am. I don't need to hear it out to know that it has no relevance to the supposedly professional topic we are discussing. The world slows down as I shift in my chair. My head reviews my options in a matter of a second: I can stay silent since I am not personally involved and it is easier anyway. But as I weigh up this possibility, I already know that it goes against what I believe in. I don't think it is acceptable to try to bring someone down by spreading gossip. I fight the urge to just keep the peace and the need to be liked. Finally, I interrupt the person as politely as I can. I ask them to stop firmly but without a negative tone. Silence. People are taken aback, some roll their eyes, but I know I did the right thing. And that is all that matters. 

[Copyright Bulletproof Journalist]


There are countless times in our lives when we need to decide between a comfortable silence/obedience and the uncomfortable truth. Many of us, including me at one point or another tried to be liked and therefore we lived our lives silenced. Speaking up and telling your truth was not 'cool' or 'acceptable' in a world where the designated leader is always right. Many of us start our journey to the 'uncomfortable truth' by speaking up when someone we care about is being hurt. Yes, standing up for people is great, but what you truly need to stand up for is your beliefs. (I have to note here that I need to assume that your beliefs are good natured and positive, not feeding from delusions, half-truths and gossips.) Whatever your reason was for standing up for a loved one, it is bigger than just not wanting them to be hurt. You might think that 'good' people deserve 'good' treatment, or you might believe in doing the least harm possible. Whatever this belief is, you need to be conscious of it. These are the things that really matter to you and these are the things to fight for. This comes with sacrificing the need to be popular and well-liked, but in exchange you get people who honestly like you and your truth. This is why you should stand up for what you believe in: you have nothing to lose that is worth keeping. If you silence yourself, you'll eventually lose yourself in the process. Your thoughts will not be your own and your actions will be a stranger to you. Being authentic is a characteristic you should take care of while you are working towards bettering yourself. It will be a difficult journey where you lose people, places and activities because they were not compatible with your beliefs but you gain what really matters. Try to understand other people, but respect your boundaries. This is what I did in the scenario above. I tried to understand both point of views and at the end my decision was based on what I believed to be right and nothing else. It is important that you stand up for what you believe, but it is also key to choose your battles. Some battles are not worth fighting. The key is finding the balance. It is okay not to be able to 'do the right thing' all the time, you just need to remember what you believe in and be ready to stand up for it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lifting people up means you rise with them

Image
You don't need to be a professional to be able to help people. In fact, there is absolutely no skill, no equipment, no sacrifice needed to help others. Smiling at a stranger on a street might not be a big deal for you, but it might mean the world to that other person who feels really awful. Undoubtedly, there are times when you need more than just a smile though and that can be a huge responsibility. I'll tell you why you should try regardless. We have no idea sometimes how much our words and actions can hurt others. A 'bit of a banter' can easily turn into someone questioning why are they so worthless and disrespectful behaviour can often leave people thinking they are not enough. Realising this is the first step towards becoming a 'bigger' person. Now, turn this around. Imagine a world where your words can make someone's day, where you can lift people up (in some cases both literally and figuratively). Congratulations, you live in this world. Sure thing, ...
Read more

Insecurities are loud - pass the microphone anyway

Image
If you are successful in whatever you are doing, it is inevitable that some people will envy you, sometimes even without realising it. This jealousy becomes toxic when they actively take steps to belittle you, put you into humiliating situations and when they question your adequacy on a daily basis. When you are involved in a case of toxic jealousy, first it might seem like they are 'above' you because they might seem a lot more confident, qualified, bold etc. The key thing for you to do is realise that you are not subordinate or less than them. Their mocking is not about you and your qualities, it is about them and their hidden insecurities. They are jealous because they feel that you have something that they don't. As soon as you understand that they spread gossip about you not because there is something wrong with you but because they can't deal with their own insecurities, you are free. And this is where it gets easier for you. Of course, self-reflection is key to...
Read more

Insecurities are loud - a bully can't beat a bully

So far, we have talked about how when someone tries to make you feel like you are worthless, it is their (toxic) way of dealing with jealousy coming from their own insecurities. I have written about ways that can help you handle a situation like this. (See post 'Insecurities are loud - pass the microphone anyway') Let's continue with ways of coping with someone who tries to mock you and make you seem *insert negative adjective here* in front of others. 3. Talk about it If someone bullies you and mistreats you, don't keep it to yourself. It is a huge strain on your mental health to be subjected to mocking so make sure that above all, you prioritise your well-being.  Talk about how you are feeling to a friend, a family member or even on an online listening service. Don't be afraid to reach out to a therapist or any other professional help if you are struggling. It is also important, as terrifying as it may sound, to talk about it with your bully. We tend to forge...
Read more