Insecurities are loud - a bully can't beat a bully
So far, we have talked about how when someone tries to make you feel like you are worthless, it is their (toxic) way of dealing with jealousy coming from their own insecurities. I have written about ways that can help you handle a situation like this. (See post 'Insecurities are loud - pass the microphone anyway')
Let's continue with ways of coping with someone who tries to mock you and make you seem *insert negative adjective here* in front of others.
3. Talk about it
If someone bullies you and mistreats you, don't keep it to yourself. It is a huge strain on your mental health to be subjected to mocking so make sure that above all, you prioritise your well-being. Talk about how you are feeling to a friend, a family member or even on an online listening service. Don't be afraid to reach out to a therapist or any other professional help if you are struggling.
It is also important, as terrifying as it may sound, to talk about it with your bully. We tend to forget that our bullies are people too. There are times when your bully is not fully aware of what they are doing or when you stand up for yourself and they back off. Sadly, this is not true for most cases, but you still have a chance of solving the issue. You can ask them what is their problem with you or why do they spread rumours etc. As simple as it sounds, a question like this often brought me long silences and lots of red faces. There is a chance that after a bold approach like this, you and your bully actually talk about the issues between you and get to a solution. It is not impossible, but you need two mature people for it.
4. Evaluate and reflect
In order to avoid misunderstandings, it is crucial that you always approach the situation from an objective (as much as you can at least) perspective. Reflect on your interactions and evaluate your choices. You can't expect the other person to be reasonable to you if your reaction to them is nonconstructive. So as an example, if constantly tell others how awful this person is or swear back at them, you are on the same level. As hard as it is, you need to be patient and tolerant, remembering to the earlier points about their insecurity. Instead of becoming a bully, try to talk calmly and distance yourself from the things that are not about you. If you feel the need to leave the situation, do so.
You got this!
Let's continue with ways of coping with someone who tries to mock you and make you seem *insert negative adjective here* in front of others.
3. Talk about it
If someone bullies you and mistreats you, don't keep it to yourself. It is a huge strain on your mental health to be subjected to mocking so make sure that above all, you prioritise your well-being. Talk about how you are feeling to a friend, a family member or even on an online listening service. Don't be afraid to reach out to a therapist or any other professional help if you are struggling.
It is also important, as terrifying as it may sound, to talk about it with your bully. We tend to forget that our bullies are people too. There are times when your bully is not fully aware of what they are doing or when you stand up for yourself and they back off. Sadly, this is not true for most cases, but you still have a chance of solving the issue. You can ask them what is their problem with you or why do they spread rumours etc. As simple as it sounds, a question like this often brought me long silences and lots of red faces. There is a chance that after a bold approach like this, you and your bully actually talk about the issues between you and get to a solution. It is not impossible, but you need two mature people for it.
4. Evaluate and reflect
In order to avoid misunderstandings, it is crucial that you always approach the situation from an objective (as much as you can at least) perspective. Reflect on your interactions and evaluate your choices. You can't expect the other person to be reasonable to you if your reaction to them is nonconstructive. So as an example, if constantly tell others how awful this person is or swear back at them, you are on the same level. As hard as it is, you need to be patient and tolerant, remembering to the earlier points about their insecurity. Instead of becoming a bully, try to talk calmly and distance yourself from the things that are not about you. If you feel the need to leave the situation, do so.
You got this!
Comments
Post a Comment